Tuesday, 2 November 2010

Yucky Blog

Today I experienced an early morning moral dilemma when seeing my husband drying his face with a towel after his shower. The dilemma was simple. Should I tell him that the same towel had been used the previous night to soak up the little wet puddle left by our nappyless daughter when I was running her bath? On balance I felt it kinder not to tell him, and a covert sniff of his face afterwards confirmed that no harm had been done.

I don't think anyone can have entered parenthood realising the degree to which they are going to be covered in human waste and secretions. New parents of baby boys probably get an earlier heads up on this issue than those with girls. Personally the idea of urine coming into contact with my face was far from appealing but when my tiny infant son first successfully hit his target at nappy changing time I did feel a slight surge of pride at the achievement of that sweet little appendage, although did quickly learn the appropriate precautionary steps to take from then on in.

Fast forward a few years and I don’t have to go into detail with fellow parents as to the decline in my hygiene standards. I recall the results of a study a while back which found that on average 25% of women’s handbags revealed traces of e coli and lots of other nasty bacteria and substances, including fecal matter, as a result of us ladies putting our handbags on the floor in public toilets, buses, pubs etc. I dread to think what a swab of my jeans would now find but if fecal matter were the worst of it I would be laughing.

I never knew that being a parent would include being regularly painted in sick, having clothes permanently dusted with white flaky patches of dried snot, having to plunge my arm elbow deep into a bath of diaorrhea, or constantly having to proffer a cupped hand to catch discarded partially chewed food. Experience has now taught me that this comes with the territory and to be honest as long as there is a wet wipe somewhere to hand to smear across any contaminated clothing, furniture or faces I’m surprisingly not that bothered.