Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I don't really understand who you are, but I can tell something different is going on because my brother is even louder and bouncier than ever.

Mummy says that I should tell you what I want for Kissmass. Well, I do like chocolate buttons but I am also partial to sucking wet wipes too, so either of those things would be good.

I think my brother's toys look quite good fun so I would really like it if I could play with some of them for longer than three seconds without him pulling them away from me and making me cry.

Sometimes when I am on my own in bed I get worried and shout for mummy and daddy to come and give me a cuddle to make me feel better. I am always really happy to see them in the middle of the night but could you make them just as happy to see me as well. Sleeping is boring after all.

Most of all I wish people understood what I wanted when I told them. I know I can only say a few words, but I am trying very hard and I really think mummy should know by now the difference between the noise for 'these sleeves are annoying me' and 'I need another yoghurt'.

Lots of love,
Thea (1 year 5 months old).

Dear Father Christmas,

Last year I thought you were called Farmer Christmas and your reindeer pulled your tractor. This year I understand much more and talk about you all the time.

I would like everything in the Early Learning Centre catalogue, and the Great Little Trading Company catalogue and the Tickety Boo catalogue and the Argos catalogue. Even the things I already have. I like anything with Ben 10 or Spiderman on them because I am going to be a superhero when I grow up and go to big school and I would really like it if I could eat chocolate all day and if mummy would understand that I don't listen to her most of the time because she is not saying anything interesting like "Do you want to play this game with me?" or "Do you want ice cream for lunch?" or "Shall we colour the walls in with marker pens?".

I'm just going to leave this letter in my bedroom for you to read because I know you are watching me. Mummy and daddy have been telling me for a long, long time that you are watching me all the time to see if I am a good boy.

Lots of love,
Gabe (3 and 3/4)

Dear Santa,

I don't expect much at Christmas, really I don't. A nice pot of honey and some aftershave would do me fine, but as my wife thought it would be fun for us all to write you a letter I thought I may as well mention a couple of other things.

I'd really like it if someone could magically clean the car for me. It's not a new car, or a posh car, or a fast car but it would be nice if I could get out of the car at work without having sweet wrappers stuck to my clothing, or being booby trapped by a casually discarded spiderman toy as I sit down or my feet getting stuck in the primordial ooze which covers the floor.

I'd also really like it if my wife could find the diamond earrings I designed and bought for her after she told me it was the law that new mothers were given a diamond per offspring. They weren't under the chest of drawers when I moved them to look, so I'm hoping she is going to come up with another possible hiding place very soon.

Most of all Santa, I would be the happiest man alive if you could just give me some more sleep. It's such a little thing to ask for, but I really miss it.

Best wishes,
Mr Kerry

Dear Santa,

This year I would like to enjoy the Christmas holidays. Last year I decided that we should spend our first Christmas as a family of four on our own together, but it ended up feeling just like any other day. This year we are going to spend the day with friends and family and I am really looking forward to it.

I hope I enjoy the special times and not waste them by feeling stressed and frazzled. I hope I spend time playing with my children making mountains out of wrapping paper insetad of fussing about tidying it into a bin bag. I would like to appreciate the Christmas tree instead of secretly counting the days until we can take it down because it makes the living room really cluttered. I would like to have all my shopping done and wrapped before Christmas Eve, and to account for the time that has to be spent in removing all those stupid wires that are used to package the kids toys and which add hours to the process.

I would also really appreciate it if you could make sure that I keep to the right side of the fine line between vivaciously tipsy and a bleary, slurring drunkard at my work do's.

Finally, if it's not too much to ask, I would also really, really like to find my diamond earrings and for my daughter to start sleeping through the night. Oh and some snuggly slipper boots from the White Company (in the mink colour) would be lovely.

Yours sincerely,