News Update on the Coalition

BREAKING NEWS

Clegg and Cameron had fingers crossed

09-05-12

THE last two years of government don’t count because the coalition didn’t ‘Simon says’, according to David Cameron.

Clegg explained that in some schools they call it 'creases'

As the coalition launched its Right, Let’s Try That Again campaign, the prime minister has confirmed that they had just been warming up for the first half of their term and will do proper government stuff as of now, or possibly next week depending on how the Lords Reform Bill goes.

David Cameron said: “Having to carry Nick around for the last two years making sure he doesn’t touch any sockets has been like the longest ever ‘take your child to school day’ so that’s got to give us at least six months’ worth of do-­over.

“Basically we mean everything we say as of…now. Nick, please, be quiet. Okay…now.”
The launch took place in an Essex tractor factory, with Cameron managing not to look disgusted as he answered a wide range of questions from the assembled commoners while Clegg rode around on a digger with a gleeful expression.

The government is trying to reconnect with an electorate that recently chose stuffed animals and other household objects over Tory candidates. It has promised that for the next two years it will stop mucking about and try really, really hard to hand in some finished work that didn’t sound utterly deranged.

Cameron acknowledged that difficult decisions lay ahead but made a firm promise to tackle that huge pile of papers by the fax machine first, so they could then look at all the unanswered phone messages received since 2010.

He added “What most people don’t realise is that it takes about three months to work out how to use the coffee machine and twice that to get your swipe card for the printer.”

Source: The Daily Mash

And They Roared their Terrible Roars.....

'Where the Wild Things Are' portrays a boy called Max who is sent to his room without his supper as a result of his naughty shenanigans only to escape into a fantasy world of monsters and mayhem. 

I find this book impossible to read out loud without employing great dramatic gusto. It is one of our favourite books and my son took great pleasure in wearing his Max* costume to world book day celebrations at school this year.  *Ahem, that should in fact read homemade costume. Such a rare event that it merits special mention.

The book was controversial when it was published in 1963 as it portrayed a childhood world which was malevolent and dangerous as well as playful. My son picks up on the inherent tension in the book by showing his concern that Max may be hurt by the monsters and worrying about where Max's mummy and daddy are whilst Max is having his adventures. He revels in the fact that a small boy can enjoy such grown up adventures and display such authority over much bigger creatures, but is also relieved when Max realises that he just wanted to be where someone loved him best of all. Don't we all.

 

"they roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled 

their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws"

The author Maurice Sendak died yesterday aged 83. A child of a Polish Jewish immigrant family, the tragedies his family suffered during the depression and holocaust clearly deeply influenced his subsequent work.

"It forced me to take children to a level that I thought was more honest than most 

people did,"he once said. "Because if life is so critical, if Anne Frank could die, 

if my friend could die, children were as vulnerable as adults, and that gave 

me a secret purpose to my work, to make them live. Because I wanted to live. 

I wanted to grow up." (source - The Guardian)

  

He did get to grow up, and he leaves behind a legacy of wonderful books and illustrations for future generations of Maxs, Idas, Mickeys and Rosies. 

Credit: James Keyser/Time Life Pictures/Getty

"and he sailed off through night and day and in and out of weeks and almost a year 

to where the wild things are."

The Park

What a lovely day in the park with good friends.

Do you know the definition of a true friend? It's someone who totally understands that when you are looking after the kids on your own all night you may well feel a bit panicky when you suddenly realise that you have no wine in the house. So much so that they look after your kids whilst you nip to the local Co-op for emergency rations. Without judgment. 

A Moment to Appreciate

I love our house, but ....... if there was just one thing that I would change it would be the size of our garden. It's somewhat bijou. I can't help but feel that parenting a five year old boy would be far easier if you had at least an acre out back in which he could run himself ragged to burn off some of that irrepressible energy.

Sadly the garden has sometimes been unfairly blamed for some of the frustrations we encounter in trying to contain the excesses of small children. However a few sunny moments spent today in capturing images of the parts of our garden which provide colour, detail and interest has awakened a real appreciation for what our garden is instead of what I would like it to be. I'm sure there is a metaphor for life in there somewhere, but instead I'll just say the obvious - size isn't everything.    

My two year old daughter was very intrigued by the camera as I took these shots. She asked that I show her how to use the camera then promptly pointed it at me and took this. Here is the first photo my daughter ever took of me. Camera shy as I usually am, I have to admit that I couldn't love it more.